Post by One Daring Jerk on Jul 13, 2019 13:12:46 GMT -7
Okay, I know I haven't been on here recently, but I just thought I'd give you an update on where I'm at. I've got most of it (about 70%) done. I know I promised to get this done in two weeks, but I've just been soo busy lately between work, picking out my classes for next semester, and some other personal things that I won't get into. Any way, I'm going to post what I've got done here now. Hopefully it'll motivate me to finish it quicker. So without further ado, here's Dan Vs. The Zoo.
The scene opens up on a shot of the zoo, with background music playing. We then go to Dan, as he's walking through the zoo with his phone in his hand when suddenly, he steps on a wad of gum.
Dan: Ew, gross!
Dan tries to scrape it off, but it won't come off. Suddenly, he sees a man next to an enclosure with his daughter.
Dan: Eh.
He grabs the gum wad off his shoe and subtly puts it in the little girl's hair, then walks away.
Dan: Now where was I? Oh yes.
Dan gets out his phone. It shows his location with a blinking red light off to the left.
Dan: There you are!
Dan follows the red light on his phone as it leads him directly to Chris. Elise is next to him holding his hand. Dan walks up to them casually pretending that nothing is going on.
Dan: Chris! Fancy meeting you here.
Chris: *Not buying it* What do you want Dan?
Elise: *Annoyed* Better question is how did you find us here?
Dan: What? Me? I wasn't...*Laughing it off* looking for you guys here. Any way, since we're both here now, can I borrow $10?
Chris: Sure, here...
Elise: NO! We are here to enjoy a nice day without any Dan-related issues! Don't give him anything, because next thing you know, you'll be skydiving off a cliff! Do you ant to be skydiving off a cliff? And besides *Turns to Dan* Can't you just go to the bank to get your money?
Dan: Not after they banned me. Apparently "Setting a fire" is "frowned apon" even if it wasn't your fault!
Chris: Look, Elise, it's just $10 dollars. It's not like I'm giving him my credit card. Here you go Dan.
Dan grabs his wallet then runs away.
Dan: HAHAHA! I'm coming for you Mr. Mumbles!
As Dan is running away, suddenly, he gets tripped.
Dan: What?
He gets back up, only to have his pants pulled down by some mischevious elephants.
Dan: AH!
Everyone around him laughs at him. As he pulls his pants up, some monkeys come in, grab the wallet, then run off.
Dan: HEY! Get back here with that!
Dan tries to run after them, but he lets go of his pants and they fall down again, causing him to trip and fall. Dan's face turns red and he points his fists up in the air.
Dan: ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The words "Dan Vs. the Zoo" come on to the screen. Cuts to Elise holding up Dan by his shirt, still with his pants down. She is making a fist with her other hand.
Elise: Tell me where is Chris'es wallet!
Dan: I'm telling you, some monkeys stole it! I don't know where it is!
Elise: Don't lie to me Dan!
Dan: I'm not lying. Those hooligans *Points at elephants* pulled my pants down and monkeys stole the wallet.
Chris: I believe at least part of his story may be true. I mean, why would he pull his own pants down?
Dan: Exactly. You can look in my pockets. It's NOT there.
Elise: Alright, fine.
Elise drops Dan on the ground then grabs his pants and searches through the pockets, only to find several things, none of them being the wallet.
Elise: Okay, I guess that checks out. But if you don't have it, then where is it?
Dan: I told you, I don't know. Monkeys took it. They could be anywhere right now.
Elise: Well then, why don't we split up? Dan, you take the north end of the zoo, Chris, the south, and I will search everywhere in between. We meet back here, got it?
Dan: Fine.
Dan walks off, only to have people laughing at him again.
Dan: What? *Looks down, then turns to Elise* Hey!...
From offscreen, Elise throws his pants at him, which hit him in the head. Some time later, Chris is scardily trying to navigate his way out of the cat complex with cotton candy in hand.
Chris: Okay, I know Elise told us to split up but *Lion swipes at him from its cage* AHH! I wish I didn't have to search this place.
He hastily rushes toward the exit, when suddenly, a lonely tiger cub catches his eye.
Chris: AWWWWWWWWWW!
He walks up to the cage. It purs and rubs its body up against the cage.
Chris: OHHHHHHHHHH, Do you want a piece of cotton candy?
The baby tiger nods as Chris rips off a piece to give to it.
Chris: Here you go!
Chris leans in. When suddenly, the baby tiger tears up his hand with its claws, causing him to drop the cotton candy in his other hand. The quick tiger cub grabs it and runs away.
Chris: OWWWWW! HEY!
Suddenly, a burly zookeeper runs into the frame.
Zookeeper: Are you okay?
Chris: Yah, except for there are scratches on my hand!
Zookeeper: That's why you shouldn't feed the animals. Did you see that sign over...Hey! Where did it go?
Chris: Could I get help over here? My hand is bleeding!
Zookeeper: Oh yes sir. Right away!
Meanwhile, Elise is angrily searching for the wallet around the bear encloures.
Elise: Stupid Dan and his stupid antics! I just wanted to enjoy a nice day out at the zoo and this is what I get!
A polar bear stares at her.
Elise: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
The polar bear stares back at her with a disgruntled face, then jumps into the pool.
Elise: ERRRR...Calm down Elise. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you can go back to a nice, Dan free day. You just need to take a break for a second.
Elise sits down on a bench, takes a big sigh, then gets her phone out.
Elise: Let's see where Dan is. If he's telling the truth, then there's no way he left.
She opens up an app and sees a red dot on Dan's location. He's still at the zoo.
Elise: Wow, I'm...
Before Elise can finish her sentence, a koala bear swipes in and steals her phone.
Elise: HEY!
Elise turns around, only to see that the koala is gone.
Elise: WHAT THE?
Elise, with a crazy face, turns to some people next to her.
Elise: *Fast* DID YOU SEE THAT? YOU SAW THAT, RIGHT? THE KOALA? KOALAS CAN'T GO THAT FAST, RIGHT?
Most people shrug.
Man: Woman, you're crazy!
Everyone walks away from her.
Elise: Huh, maybe Dan wasn't lying.
Meanwhile, Dan is at the primate pavillion trying to get to the root of the problem.
Dan: Where are these monkeys? They've gotta be hiding their loot somewhere.
Dan looks around when he notices a gorilla trying to hide something in the corner of its exhibit.
Dan: AH HAH! I KNEW IT!
The gorilla turns around and notices Dan. Suddenly, two bananas are thrown at his face.
Dan: ERRRRRRRRRRRR! WHO THREW THAT?
In the confusion, he wipes it off on some lady's shirt, which she slaps him for. He turns around, only to see the gorillas and everything in the exhibit except for the toys are gone.
Dan: Oh, that's it! I know you're hiding something!
Dan goes up to the glass and taps it.
Dan: Huh. Pure plexiglass. There's no escaping this.
He examines the exhibit further, looking to the background for clues.
Dan: Where could they have gone? It's not like they could jump over the wall. *Turns around* There's no one running in terror, so they're not out here.
Dan continues to make his way arond the exhibit, thinking. Suddenly, he looks down and notices something.
Dan: Wait that's it!
Later, a bloodied and bruised Chris is limping around as he's going back to meet Elise, when suddenly...
Dan: Psssst! Chris!
Chris: Dan?
Dan: I'm down here.
Chris looks down to see Dan in a nearby sewer drain.
Chris: Dan? What are you doing down there?
Dan: Those animals are stashing their loot down here, I just know it!
Chris: Have you found my wallet?
Dan: No, but I could use your help. There's probably gators down here, and I need a human shield.
Chris: Why would I agree to do that?
Dan: Because it's your wallet, just...get down here!
Chris: Dan, my arm is in a cast, not to mention a broken leg. I think. I...
Dan: Details, details. Just get over here!
Chris: No, I can't. I'm in no condition to climb down a ladder.
Dan: *Facepalm* Fine, I guess I'll have to do it.
Dan climbs up, lifts the manhole covering, pushes Chris down the manhole, gets back on the ladder, puts the covering back on, then climbs down the ladder.
Chris: Ouch! Now I think my leg really is broken.
Dan: Get up!
Chris: Oh...okay. I'll try.
Chris weakly gets up, using the rungs on the latter as leverage.
Dan: Now come on! They're down here, I just know it!
Chris: Who's down here?
Dan: Weren't you listening? The monkeys must be working with the alligators to steal stuff from people.
Chris: Okaaaaaaaaay, you could have mentioned that before.
Dan: Come on, we're wasting precious time!
Chris: Alright, fine.
Chris limps along while Dan motors ahead. When Dan makes it to the end of the tunnel, he looks back and sees that Chris isn't next to him.
Dan: *Facepalm* Will you hurry up? I'm not getting any younger!
Chris: *Heavy breathing* Sorry, but my leg hurts. What do you expect?
Dan: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I heard something!
Chris and Dan peek around the corner to see a peacock carrying a purse around it's neck and a monkey carrying what looks like Chris'es wallet.
Dan: There it is! I get that stinking little...
Chris: Dan, it might be better to...
Before Chris can finish his sentence, Dan runs up to and confronts the two animals. Chris facepalms himself.
Dan: Give me back MY wallet!
Chris: You mean my wallet?
The monkey shakes his head.
Dan: ERRRRRRRRRR
Dan jumps on the monkey and the two fight. The peacock jumps in for backup.
Dan: Give me back my wallet!
The monkey resists. The peacock grabs the wallet with it's beak and the three have a tug of war battle over it, which Dan wins in the end.
Dan: HA! GOTCHA!
Dan turns around to tell Chris that he got it, only to see a giant gorilla holding Chris in it's hand.
Dan: Hey, you let go of...
The gorilla grabs Dan and the monkey takes the wallet away from Dan. A manhole opens up and Dan and Chris are tossed out of it. Elise is in front of them with her arms folded and left foot angrily tapping the ground.
Elise: Where have you been?
The scene opens up on a shot of the zoo, with background music playing. We then go to Dan, as he's walking through the zoo with his phone in his hand when suddenly, he steps on a wad of gum.
Dan: Ew, gross!
Dan tries to scrape it off, but it won't come off. Suddenly, he sees a man next to an enclosure with his daughter.
Dan: Eh.
He grabs the gum wad off his shoe and subtly puts it in the little girl's hair, then walks away.
Dan: Now where was I? Oh yes.
Dan gets out his phone. It shows his location with a blinking red light off to the left.
Dan: There you are!
Dan follows the red light on his phone as it leads him directly to Chris. Elise is next to him holding his hand. Dan walks up to them casually pretending that nothing is going on.
Dan: Chris! Fancy meeting you here.
Chris: *Not buying it* What do you want Dan?
Elise: *Annoyed* Better question is how did you find us here?
Dan: What? Me? I wasn't...*Laughing it off* looking for you guys here. Any way, since we're both here now, can I borrow $10?
Chris: Sure, here...
Elise: NO! We are here to enjoy a nice day without any Dan-related issues! Don't give him anything, because next thing you know, you'll be skydiving off a cliff! Do you ant to be skydiving off a cliff? And besides *Turns to Dan* Can't you just go to the bank to get your money?
Dan: Not after they banned me. Apparently "Setting a fire" is "frowned apon" even if it wasn't your fault!
Chris: Look, Elise, it's just $10 dollars. It's not like I'm giving him my credit card. Here you go Dan.
Dan grabs his wallet then runs away.
Dan: HAHAHA! I'm coming for you Mr. Mumbles!
As Dan is running away, suddenly, he gets tripped.
Dan: What?
He gets back up, only to have his pants pulled down by some mischevious elephants.
Dan: AH!
Everyone around him laughs at him. As he pulls his pants up, some monkeys come in, grab the wallet, then run off.
Dan: HEY! Get back here with that!
Dan tries to run after them, but he lets go of his pants and they fall down again, causing him to trip and fall. Dan's face turns red and he points his fists up in the air.
Dan: ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The words "Dan Vs. the Zoo" come on to the screen. Cuts to Elise holding up Dan by his shirt, still with his pants down. She is making a fist with her other hand.
Elise: Tell me where is Chris'es wallet!
Dan: I'm telling you, some monkeys stole it! I don't know where it is!
Elise: Don't lie to me Dan!
Dan: I'm not lying. Those hooligans *Points at elephants* pulled my pants down and monkeys stole the wallet.
Chris: I believe at least part of his story may be true. I mean, why would he pull his own pants down?
Dan: Exactly. You can look in my pockets. It's NOT there.
Elise: Alright, fine.
Elise drops Dan on the ground then grabs his pants and searches through the pockets, only to find several things, none of them being the wallet.
Elise: Okay, I guess that checks out. But if you don't have it, then where is it?
Dan: I told you, I don't know. Monkeys took it. They could be anywhere right now.
Elise: Well then, why don't we split up? Dan, you take the north end of the zoo, Chris, the south, and I will search everywhere in between. We meet back here, got it?
Dan: Fine.
Dan walks off, only to have people laughing at him again.
Dan: What? *Looks down, then turns to Elise* Hey!...
From offscreen, Elise throws his pants at him, which hit him in the head. Some time later, Chris is scardily trying to navigate his way out of the cat complex with cotton candy in hand.
Chris: Okay, I know Elise told us to split up but *Lion swipes at him from its cage* AHH! I wish I didn't have to search this place.
He hastily rushes toward the exit, when suddenly, a lonely tiger cub catches his eye.
Chris: AWWWWWWWWWW!
He walks up to the cage. It purs and rubs its body up against the cage.
Chris: OHHHHHHHHHH, Do you want a piece of cotton candy?
The baby tiger nods as Chris rips off a piece to give to it.
Chris: Here you go!
Chris leans in. When suddenly, the baby tiger tears up his hand with its claws, causing him to drop the cotton candy in his other hand. The quick tiger cub grabs it and runs away.
Chris: OWWWWW! HEY!
Suddenly, a burly zookeeper runs into the frame.
Zookeeper: Are you okay?
Chris: Yah, except for there are scratches on my hand!
Zookeeper: That's why you shouldn't feed the animals. Did you see that sign over...Hey! Where did it go?
Chris: Could I get help over here? My hand is bleeding!
Zookeeper: Oh yes sir. Right away!
Meanwhile, Elise is angrily searching for the wallet around the bear encloures.
Elise: Stupid Dan and his stupid antics! I just wanted to enjoy a nice day out at the zoo and this is what I get!
A polar bear stares at her.
Elise: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
The polar bear stares back at her with a disgruntled face, then jumps into the pool.
Elise: ERRRR...Calm down Elise. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you can go back to a nice, Dan free day. You just need to take a break for a second.
Elise sits down on a bench, takes a big sigh, then gets her phone out.
Elise: Let's see where Dan is. If he's telling the truth, then there's no way he left.
She opens up an app and sees a red dot on Dan's location. He's still at the zoo.
Elise: Wow, I'm...
Before Elise can finish her sentence, a koala bear swipes in and steals her phone.
Elise: HEY!
Elise turns around, only to see that the koala is gone.
Elise: WHAT THE?
Elise, with a crazy face, turns to some people next to her.
Elise: *Fast* DID YOU SEE THAT? YOU SAW THAT, RIGHT? THE KOALA? KOALAS CAN'T GO THAT FAST, RIGHT?
Most people shrug.
Man: Woman, you're crazy!
Everyone walks away from her.
Elise: Huh, maybe Dan wasn't lying.
Meanwhile, Dan is at the primate pavillion trying to get to the root of the problem.
Dan: Where are these monkeys? They've gotta be hiding their loot somewhere.
Dan looks around when he notices a gorilla trying to hide something in the corner of its exhibit.
Dan: AH HAH! I KNEW IT!
The gorilla turns around and notices Dan. Suddenly, two bananas are thrown at his face.
Dan: ERRRRRRRRRRRR! WHO THREW THAT?
In the confusion, he wipes it off on some lady's shirt, which she slaps him for. He turns around, only to see the gorillas and everything in the exhibit except for the toys are gone.
Dan: Oh, that's it! I know you're hiding something!
Dan goes up to the glass and taps it.
Dan: Huh. Pure plexiglass. There's no escaping this.
He examines the exhibit further, looking to the background for clues.
Dan: Where could they have gone? It's not like they could jump over the wall. *Turns around* There's no one running in terror, so they're not out here.
Dan continues to make his way arond the exhibit, thinking. Suddenly, he looks down and notices something.
Dan: Wait that's it!
Later, a bloodied and bruised Chris is limping around as he's going back to meet Elise, when suddenly...
Dan: Psssst! Chris!
Chris: Dan?
Dan: I'm down here.
Chris looks down to see Dan in a nearby sewer drain.
Chris: Dan? What are you doing down there?
Dan: Those animals are stashing their loot down here, I just know it!
Chris: Have you found my wallet?
Dan: No, but I could use your help. There's probably gators down here, and I need a human shield.
Chris: Why would I agree to do that?
Dan: Because it's your wallet, just...get down here!
Chris: Dan, my arm is in a cast, not to mention a broken leg. I think. I...
Dan: Details, details. Just get over here!
Chris: No, I can't. I'm in no condition to climb down a ladder.
Dan: *Facepalm* Fine, I guess I'll have to do it.
Dan climbs up, lifts the manhole covering, pushes Chris down the manhole, gets back on the ladder, puts the covering back on, then climbs down the ladder.
Chris: Ouch! Now I think my leg really is broken.
Dan: Get up!
Chris: Oh...okay. I'll try.
Chris weakly gets up, using the rungs on the latter as leverage.
Dan: Now come on! They're down here, I just know it!
Chris: Who's down here?
Dan: Weren't you listening? The monkeys must be working with the alligators to steal stuff from people.
Chris: Okaaaaaaaaay, you could have mentioned that before.
Dan: Come on, we're wasting precious time!
Chris: Alright, fine.
Chris limps along while Dan motors ahead. When Dan makes it to the end of the tunnel, he looks back and sees that Chris isn't next to him.
Dan: *Facepalm* Will you hurry up? I'm not getting any younger!
Chris: *Heavy breathing* Sorry, but my leg hurts. What do you expect?
Dan: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I heard something!
Chris and Dan peek around the corner to see a peacock carrying a purse around it's neck and a monkey carrying what looks like Chris'es wallet.
Dan: There it is! I get that stinking little...
Chris: Dan, it might be better to...
Before Chris can finish his sentence, Dan runs up to and confronts the two animals. Chris facepalms himself.
Dan: Give me back MY wallet!
Chris: You mean my wallet?
The monkey shakes his head.
Dan: ERRRRRRRRRR
Dan jumps on the monkey and the two fight. The peacock jumps in for backup.
Dan: Give me back my wallet!
The monkey resists. The peacock grabs the wallet with it's beak and the three have a tug of war battle over it, which Dan wins in the end.
Dan: HA! GOTCHA!
Dan turns around to tell Chris that he got it, only to see a giant gorilla holding Chris in it's hand.
Dan: Hey, you let go of...
The gorilla grabs Dan and the monkey takes the wallet away from Dan. A manhole opens up and Dan and Chris are tossed out of it. Elise is in front of them with her arms folded and left foot angrily tapping the ground.
Elise: Where have you been?