My Various Old abandoned danfics, mostly too serious

Ok, so. The original(technically second) version of this one was written in a day and a half. Ok, sure, but rushed. Not to mention, the main villain has undergone a serious shift in future plans since I wrote this. Don't expect any future stories to get big rewrites, since now I spend mroe time on em. This was my first one, it needed the fix. Anyway

DAN VS: The Factory

Dan is in his room, wearing a chef hat, attempting to make breakfast. A large oozey mass appears to be on his stove.
Dan examined his cook book closely. "Hmm, 'Use two cups ricotta cheese, one cup...Ugh, ricotta cheese!?! Who does it think I am, a Rockefeller?" Dan yelled to himself about his lack of quality ingredients. "Eh, I'm sure cream cheese will work. Ok, next, 'One cup anchovy extra-WHAT EVEN IS THAT, ach-, COUGH, COUGH, CO-CO COUGH!" Dan's rambling was cut off by a sudden violent coughing fit.

"What the- cough cough - what is this?" Dan said, fumbling to open the door. Stumbling outside, he quickly saw the source of the problem.
A large truck, spraying pesticide on one of the few real trees in the area, creating a large cloud.
"EXCUSE ME SIR, BUT YOU'RE RUINING MY BREAKFAST!" Dan screamed, quickly stumbling down the stairs.

The worker turned to the noise, noticing Dan. "Oh, hello sir. Bet you're glad we can finally spray this area huh?"
Dan leaned towards him. "NO, I am NOT glad. 6 years of living here in peace, and NOW you decide to pollute the air?"

The worker smiled. "Yeah, budget didn't allow us to spray in, uh, low value areas, since we had to ship em in from Bernadino, but with, the uhh, new factory, we can spray here now." He said, as he returned to spraying.

"Three things. First, there's like, THREE trees here. Two, what do you mean LOW VALUE? ARE YOU INSULTING ME CASA!?!?"
"No sir I am not." The worker mumbled before spraying.
"And third......what new factory?"

The worker paused for a moment. "The Azinder Chemical Combine, opened on the other side of town last month."

"No, I have not." Raising his hands up, Dan stammered, "Wha-Who the hell is AZINDER anyway?"

The worker sighed. "Russian Playboy, bought out a section of DuPont a few years back, fastest growing pesti-Don't you watch the news, dude?"
he asked in frustration at Dans lack of knowledge.

"I don't follow that mainstream propaganda. I only listen to the finest conspiracy stations." Dan spoke, pride in his voice.

The worker looked down, now slightly concerned at who he had been talking to, avoiding direct eye contact with Dan. "Riiiiiight." before turning back to his sprayer. "Stuffs way cheaper then what we got before. Real cheap."

Dan stammered. "I don't CARE how cheap they are, tell them to stop spraying near my house, or else!"

The worker shrugged. "Sorry, not much I can do sir." before getting in his truck to leave. As he did so, he accidentally rammed into Dan's Car, knocking off the bumper.

"NO, MY CAR!" Dan shouted at the sky as the sprayer drove off. Walking to his car, he observed the broken bumper, and seethed with rage.

"Grrrr..........FACTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
DAN VS: THE FACTORY!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dialing his phone, Dan paced with a great deal of impatience, until the sound clicked.

A Hispanic woman's voice appeared on the other end. "Hello. You've reached Azinder Chemical Combine customer support, how may I assist you?"

"LISTEN – I KNOW who I've reached, no need to waste time to spell it out, we all got things to do! And what you will ASSIST me is fixing my car, WHICH YOU DESTROYED!" Dan said bluntly, raising and frantically waving his left hand up in the air. "So, you either send me the money for repairs, or I will enact revenge on your company!"

A soft chuckling could be heard on the other side of the phone. "Psst, listen to this guy. He’s probably on something." she said, partially obscured. Dan heard it anyway though, but chose to carry on with his claim.

"I’m giving you guys a fair warning. If you don’t take my complaint seriously-"
"Sir, how exactly did Azinder ruin your car?“ the lady asked, trying to contain her amusement.
"SOME GUY bumped into it, but that’s beside the point!“

Dan witnessed laughter snorting in the background of the call.

"HEY! If you don’t stop that yapping and focus on my problem right now, I'M GONNA COME TO YOUR CALL CENTER, AND HAVE YOU ALL GUTTED OPEN IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN!" Dan screamed, squeezing the phone with all his might. The laughing increased. "Oh, oh you're rich buddy, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

The phone went dead. Dan frowned, staring at the black, unrelenting block in his hand. "You cackling JERKS! I’ll make you regret your mockings – tenfold!“

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris and Elise are sitting on their couch, chatting. Sipping his coffee, Chris resumes his conversation with Elise.

"I just feel like meatloaf has a certain, appeal to it that burgers just can't match."

Elise persisted. "You gotta lay off the fatty food, it's not good for you."

"I know, but I"

"CHRRRRIIIIIIIIIS! I HAVE BEEN WRONGED!" Dan screamed, pressing his face into the window glass.

Chris groaned, looking out the window.

"Oh boy, what is it this time." Chris sighed, getting off the couch. Quickly turning back to Elise though, he briefly spoke "I meant what I said, meatloaf is unmatched, I-"

"CHRIS! COME ON!" Dan screamed, how dare Chris not aid in his scheme?

"-I gotta go Elise. Sorry."

As Chris walked away, Elise's watch suddenly beeped.
"Whew, didn't think he would leave." The voice said, obviously referring to Chris. "Dancing Shadow, I'm sure you're aware of the recent rise
of 'Azinder Chemical Combine'?"

Elise nodded, she followed corporate news closely. "Yeah, rising company, broke away from DuPont, I know what you mean."

"A truck accident occurred last night on the interstate, several civilians were exposed to toxic gases." Eagles Nest spoke, piquing Elise's interest. "And this concerns me, how?" Granted, Elise was saddened that people had died, but an industrial accident wasn't something her agency normally took concern in.

The watch resumed speaking, "Our team's discovered crates of artillery shells, filled with phosgene. You know what that means."
Elise nodded. "Chemical Weapons."

"The truck driver was a man named Antonio Daza, records indicate he works for the company. We suspect a connection." Eagles Nest spoke, as Elise turned to the window, watching Chris and Dan drive off. She was somewhat glad her husband was always busy with Dan, made her job a much easier secret to keep.

"We need you to investigate this potential threat. Infiltrate the Azinder Chemical Combine, search for any evidence of illegal operations, and report back to us. We have a team on standby in case something goes wrong."

"Rodger that, Dancing Shadow out."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What is it this time Dan?" Chris said, slightly dispossessed. "I still have burn marks from your last scheme." He rubbed the back of his neck, emphasizing the mark.

Dan chuckled. "Don't worry, no fireworks involved this time." before suddenly turning stern. "We are going to DESTROY Azinder Chemical Combine."
He shouted, "They're polluting the air and ruining my breakfast. Also they damaged my car."

Chris sighed, a feeling rose within him this was not going to end well. "How exactly did a pesticide company damage your car?"

"They crashed on of their pitiful poison wagons into it." he scowled, frowning. "So we need to exact our vengeance on them."

Smirking, he rubbed his hands together. "Alright, here's the plan. I'm going to need some welding equipment, steel, concrete, a professional surveillance system, and a bulldozer. We put the armor on the bulldozer, put me inside, and I KNOCK THE FACTORY TO THE GROUND! Simple."

Sighing, Chris looked back at Dan. "If we do that, we go to jail."

Dan shrugged, "A small price to pay for freedom from the corporations."

So, you wanna throw a thriving business out of town because of some minor infraction." Chris shouted, realizing his mistake too late.

Dan's eye twitched, a spasm flowing through his body from his head down to his toe. As this happened, Chris attempted to remedy the situation before someone died. "Uh, Dan, I uh, what I meant to say was, well I"
"Minor Infraction. Heh. Minor infraction. MINOR INFRACTION!?!" Dan jumped at Chris's side, grabbing and punching at his stomach, attempting to wrestle the man down. "I'LL GIVE YOUR FACE A MINOR INFRACTION YOU FILTHY BLOB!"

Chris held firm, trying his best to hold the car steady. I said I was OUCH, sorry AGH, did you BITE-"

"Chris, THE ROAD!" Dan screamed, having suddenly stopped attacking Chris. Turning forward, Chris saw what Dan had pointed out.

Crunchy, crossing the street, a pair of headphones in his head, blissfully unaware of the car barreling towards him.
"Gosh, this song is totally cheesing it."

The brakes screeched with friction, as the car ground to a halt, inches from Crunchy's face. He did not notice, and continued forward.

Dan and Chris sat, unmoving, frozen in fear, until Chris managed to speak. "Alright, let's not do that again."

------------------------------------------

As they pulled up to the gate, Dan rolled down the window. A man, wearing a plant uniform, sat at a small check station.

"Welcome to Azinder Chemical Combine, do you have a permit to enter the production bay?" He asked, quite politely.

Dan scowled, stepping out of car and pointing at the worker. "No, and I won't need one, because there WON'T BE A PRODUCTION BAY,WHEN I FINISH GETTING MY SWEET VENGEANCE ON YOUR CROOKED CORPORATION!!!"

The man blinked, twitched, and quickly grabbed a walkie talkie. "SECURITY, WE GOT A SABOTUER IN SECTOR 12! CODE JERK!"

Dan jumped at the man, striking his head on the glass(cracking it slightly) "ARRGGGH! CHRIS, DESTROY THIS PEON! QUICKLY!"

Chris groaned. "Dan, I'm not going to assault an innocent guard – not again. What will Elise-"

"FORGET ABOUT THAT BROAD!" Dan screamed, as a security force approached. "HE'S NOT INNOCENT, HE'S IN ON IT, WE HAVE TO STOP THEM, WE-AGH!"

Dan stopped, as the guard tazed him. "I'm not with him." Chris quickly stammered out. The security force, satisfied, walked off.

Stumbling to his feet, Dan screamed. "I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET, AZINDER! NOT YET!" before brushing off his pants and turning to Chris.

"Alright, we'll need to find another way in. Perhaps some sort of secret tunnel entrance, or an overhead passage." As he walked back into the car, Chris spoke calmy, like he had heard it all before.. "They're a normal company Dan, they don't have secret entrances, they just make pesticide."

-------------------------------------

"No, you need to get them through TODAY. Our Syrian friend ordered phosgene and we're getting it to him come hell or high water, you understand?"
Azinder Kursk, leader of the Azinder Chemical Combine, spoke on the phone, as he rubbed his hair.
"Fine, fine, I'll ask her where it is, cool your tits."
CLANK.
Hanging up, he quickly began dialing the other number.

BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP.

Elsewhere in the building, a brown haired woman sat at a desk, speaking on the phone.
"Yes madame, we know you're concerned about our products safety in the home, but I can assure you, Azinder Chemical products are absolutely safe." she spoke in a cynical tone, adjusting her glasses. "Oh yes, your concerns are our TOP priority. We shall treat them as-"
RING RING RING.
Yet another phone rang on her desk. Turning to answer it, she froze. It was the red cellphone, hidden in the first shelf.
It would only ring if Azinder himself was calling. She quickly answered it.

"Melody, we got a problem."
Melody frowned. When Azinder had a problem, it usually wasn't going to be good news. "You know I'm on civilian calls right now-"
"I DON'T GIVE A CRAP!" he screamed into his phone. "One of our shipments didn't arrive at the dockyard. Our Near-East business deal is at stake! Call that fat fuck Tony, and I swear, If that FUCKER is sleeping on the job again I'll CUT HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!"

Melody sighed, "Give me a minute." and began typing furiously, mumbling under her breath.

Azinder too, sighed. Leaning back in his chair, he grumbled to himself. "How did life come to this?" lying his head down on his desk. "Is it even worth it anymore?" he said, a twinge of emotion in his voice. Turning, he looked at the old, framed photo, sitting there.
In it, three people stood together, guns in hand. The words "SEMPER FI" scrolled across the top.
Azinder sighed "I'm sorry Nikolai. It never should have come to-"

"Boss, I can't get Daza on the line."

The sudden noise snapped Azinder out of his sorrow. "Oh, right." he said, brushing aside the photo and scrambling to pick up the phone.
"Uh, repeat what you said?" he hastily said, adjusting his throat.

"I said Daza's out of contact, nobody's seen him since the evening shift change. I can ask Jane if she had-"

"No no no" Azinder spoke, now sounding quite quiet and apathetic. "Just....check the computers, find out where my shipment is...just, get it done quickly, ok?"

"Got it boss." She spoke, before hanging up.

Azinder groaned loudly, practically falling onto his desk. "I'm done with this shit...."
Turning his head, he suddenly grew loud. "HEY, TOM, FETCH ME A BOTTLE OF GREEN FAERIE, I'M TAKING MY BREAK!"


-------------------------------------

Elise drove up to the facility. Approaching the gate, the man(quickly checking to make sure she wasn't Dan) waved her down.

"Welcome to Azinder Chemical Combine, do you-"

"Skip the speech small fry." Elise shouted, shoving her security card in his face.

Looking at the odd card, the guard scoffed."Yeah, sure, there's no way this-" TWING. The scanner turned green, indicating it was valid and
she was free to go in. ".....huh." He mumbled in disbelief. "Well, go in I guess, Ms." Elise yanked the card out of his hands, before smuggly
replying "Gee, thaaaannks." and then driving in.

"Thank you, universal key card." Elise whispered to herself, before turning a corner.

-------------------------------------

SQUEEEEAK

Chris's car groaned as it circled back once more. Dan's face was smooshed against the wall, his eyes searching for a flaw in the Factory's security.
"Watch for weaknesses Chris. They obviously have their finest at the gate so we'll have to find another way in."

Chris looked toward the huge compound. "I dunno Dan..." Chris stated, pausing for a second to think. "Wait, if they just opened, the fence is probably brand new, there wouldn't be any holes."

Dan stammered. "Grrr, I HATE IT when you make sense. They've thought of everything, those, those pathetic pesticide prowlers! But, you know
what they say, the newer they are, the harder they fall."

"I don't think that's a saying Dan." Chris said monotonely.

"Grr....stupid. Anyway, this looks like a good spot,. ram the car into the fence here, then get out and light something on fire."

Chris froze in shock, before quickly looking over to Dan. "Dan, I didn't agree to smash through the fence, I just got this car fixed."

Dan groaned. "Ugh, that's what you ALWAYS say. And you shouldn't have damaged your car in the first place."

"That was YOU Dan!"

"Details, details, all mere speculation." Dan replied, a dismissive tone in his voice.

Chris looked forward. "Plus that's an electric fence, I don't want to get electrocuted Dan."

Sighing, Dan replied "Oh please, you're well insulated, at worst your heart will stop, and, let's be honest, that was going to happen sooner or later anyway with the amount of bacon you shove in your face, so when you think about it, really you're just going to-"

"I am NOT getting electrocuted Dan." Chris said sternly, before putting his eyes back on the road.

Dan growled loudly, appearing as though he was about to attack Chris, before suddenly calming down.

"Fine. I got a better idea. Take me to your house."

Chris, confused as to the intent, asked "Why, exactly?"

"I need your bed sheets."

-----------------------------------

"Damn. If these bastards have chemical weapons, they're certainly hiding them well." Elise mumbled to herself.

She had been walking around for nearly 30 minutes, attempting to find anything in the area near the front of the plant. Every truck yielded nothing, but more pesticide. The afternoon heat was baking her, and her uniform wasn't helping.

"Eagles Nest, no sign of any activity in the forward storage area, proceeding to rear storage area. What's the fastest way there?"

After a few seconds of silence, the watch replied, a small map appearing on the display.

"Hmm, difficult to enter, the gates there are high security, guard posts everywhere. Proceed to the production bay, heat signatures from the main furnace indicate it's somewhere near the back of the plant. With the plant uniform provided., no one will suspect a thing."

Elise nodded, the heat was making the lot unbearable. "Rodger that."

"Copy Dancing Shadow, and remember, avoid unnecessary attention. Obtain the evidence, and get out. We don't want any unneeded attention."

Stepping through the door, Elise quickly blended in, merging into the crowd of workers. Just another face.

-----------------------------------

"Why exactly do you need our bed sheets Dan. Elise will kill me if we get them dirty."

Dan, struggling to pull the sheets off the bed, turning towards Chris "It's for a good cause. We need disguises!"
Chris groaned. "So, we're going to use my sheets. What, are we going to be the ghosts of Christmas past and future."

"Close, but no." Dan said, pulling out Scissors and cutting into the sheets.

Chris's eyes bulged, and he quickly jumped at Dan. "DAN, NO! Elise will kill me!"

"GET YOUR MEATY HANDS OFF MY, IT'S OUR DISGUISE!" Dan shouted as he struggled, tossing Chris to his side. "You can always buy new sheets, now let me work, and prepare to be amazed.

30 MINUTES LATER

Dan stands there, a scowl on his mug.
On him, his cobbled together outfit. The sleeves appear detached, the hat is only half done, obvious stitch marks are everywhere, and the entire thing is covered in staples.

"There, this should fool them."

Chris looked at the disguise, a slight grimace in his face from the loss of the sheets. "I'm not sure if that's going to hold."

Dan smirked, waving his hand at Chris. "Pssh, this stapling is second to-" suddenly, several staples popped off, all the stitches ripped, and the outfit fell into pieces. "-none..." Dan said with a slight hint of discontent, pausing. "Well, that's what I get for trusting my grandma's knitting lessons. Old broad nearly gouged my eyes out, what a jerk. Alright Chris, Plan-B, get your mugging shoes on."

"Oh boy" Chris stammered as he followed Dan out the door.

----------------------------------
Elise continued walking forward. The crowd of workers was immense. But the worst part was the noise.
Oh the banter. Apparently ACC had never learned the value of a quiet workplace. Elise could swear she'd go deaf if she stayed any longer.

Finally, after the umpteenth corridor and a seeming eternity of worker gossip, there it was. The door to the production bay.
Two men stood nearby, one short, one tall. Attempting to stay casual, Elise simply walked forward, only for the tall one to sidestep in front of her.

"Sorry, only high ranking employees get through here."

Elise, not wanting to break character, pulled out her card. "Check my card clearance, I can assure you I-"

SLAP

The guard knocked the card right of Elise's hands. Only her restraint(and the knowledge of dozens of witnesses behind her) kept her from breaking the mans neck then and there.

"Card or no card, you ain't one of our high ranking employees. Now piss off you bitch."

Elise growled. Every instinct was telling her to kill him.

But, she resisted, nodding and walking away. Patience was the key. Eventually, a moment of opportunity would present itself.
She had the time.

----------------------------------

Melody was not looking forward to talking to the boss.

Every step she took up the staircase had weight to it. A thought floated into the back of her head.
How did I get to this point? I had such a bright future ahead of me when I was younger, then..... sigh.
Putting the thought aside, she stepped into Azinders personal penthouse. A sitcom was playing on the tv, the laughtrack rattling outwards.
Stepping further into the room, she stopped. There he sat, Azinder.

Approaching Azinder, it was clear he wasn't doing the best. Lying on his side, he held a bottle of absinthe in his hand. A slight frown on his face.
"Mr. Kursk? I've got some bad news about Daza. He-"
"You're a bitch, you know that?"

Melody froze at her boss's sudden words. "Excuse me?"

"They're ALL a BUNCH of BASTARDS!" he groaned out, slurring his words. "They SAY they're gonna protect you, and they SAY they care, but, they DON'T, THEY FUCKING DON'T!" Waving the bottle around in a haze, he continued. "And then you TRY to fix everything, tell somebody, and they destroy EVERYTHING that ever mattered, and no one cares." he finished, before taking another swig of absinthe. "No one fucking cares."

Concerned for her own well being, Melody stepped back, stuttering on her words before regaining composure. "Sir, I need to inform you that-"
"GO AWAY.....I just wanna WALLOW." Azinder said, sinking his face into the couch, groaning slightly.

"Daza is dead. There was a truck crash." She stuttered out, before backing away.

Azinder snorted, clearing his nose, before raising his head up to look at Melody. "What?"

"I sent Skyler to go follow the truck beacon...I thought Tony had gotten drunk again. He rolled his truck into a ditch, the shells were-"

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Azinder shouted, quickly jumping off the chair. "We're FUCKED! That drunk fuck just fucked us all!"

Melody scrambled back, shocked at his response. Thinking quickly, she attempted to calm him down. "The news hasn't reported anything yet, we could send out the-"

"MELODY YOU MORON, THEY'VE FUCKING FOUND US!" Azinder screamed, a slur evident in his words. "Th-the....The news hasn't been told yet, they, they've probably hid it from them, the news won't hear until we're all 6 feet under."
Azinder leaned down towards Melody, who was at this point on the floor, slowly backing away. "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU PULL THAT IDIOT AWAY FROM HIS GODDAMN WHISKEY FOR ONE GODDAMN SECOND! HE'S A GODDAMN TRUCK DRIVER YOU FUCKING MORON!"

Melody stuttered "I...I didn't...I thought that-"

"Yeah yeah you THOUGHT, well know we're ALL gonna fucking pay." Azinder spoke with fear in his voice, his arm trembling, a touch of alcohol on his lip. For a brief moment, he looked towards his desk, before turning back to Melody.
"No....NO I WON'T LET IT FUCKING END THIS WAY!" A variety of items flew off the desk as Azinder shoved them away. "WE ARE NOT GOING DOWN LIKE THIS....I....I can't let them...the people can't....not after they.....RAH!!!" Azinder screamed, throwing his desk chair over.

Fearing her boss could kill her at any moment, Melody slowly backed up, attempting to exit. Azinder continued panting, before turning to Melody. "Get everyone together, I want to see their butts in my office in 20 minutes, you got that?"

She did not hesitate this time, nodding, before quickly sprinting off.

Azinder turned, his hand on his face, before looking back to the door. "God-DAMN IT!"

---------------------------

Two employees walked out of the factory bay. One short, one tall.

"You scared the SHIT out of that new girl , you one scary ass motherfucker!"
Charles sighed. "You gotta take your job more seriously, or you're never gonna get promoted. I got myself to Number 2 Guard."
The other man shuttered. "That asshole Trent scares the shit of me, always sounds like he's ready to murder someone."
"Heh. He may very well-MMPPPHPH!"

Suddenly, Charles was bonked on the head with a pipe, and the other guy quickly dragged into an alley.

A few seconds later, Dan and Chris emerge, wearing their uniforms.
Knocking the dirt off his shirt, Dan looked to Chris. "Well, that went easier then expected. You've gotten much better at mugging over the years."
Chris looked back at the unconscious man. "I'm not sure I want to get good at mugging." Dan waved his hand at Chris. "Oh please, it comes naturally after the first few months. And look on the plus side, we got their ID cards, we can get in."

The guard, busy reading his paper, briefly looked up. Two workers, one short, one tall. Must be Charles and Mack, back with coffee and donuts, he thought to himself, before resuming his paper.

"Back already boys?" he asked, flipping the page. Chris, sweating nervously, quick replied, "Oh yes, we're back, indeed, us, normal."

"Hehehe, okay boys." the guard said, more interested in his paper then them. They both quickly checked their cards, and the guard opened the gate, failing to look at their faces.

Dan and Chris continued forward, until Dan suddenly pulls Chris behind a corner. "They bought it. Ok, now, we get REVENGE!"

---------------------------------

Finally, after two hours, Elise had finally gotten a chance to slip out when the two workers blocking the door had gone for a coffee break.

Quickly slipping into the production bay, she looked around. Everything seemed in order. Pipes carried in the intermediates from the back, a large mixing tank in the centre, a large group of workers tending to things, and a conveyor belt carrying finished containers of pesticide towards the loading bay. Nothing overly suspicious.

Using her universal card, Elise went into the back area, where the raw materials were held. Large tanks of Chlorine, Ammonia, and Phosgene were visable. Examining more closely, however, Elise noticed a set of pipes that, instead of going into the production bay, appeared to go downstairs.

"Well well well, what do we have here." Elise began checking a series of doors nearby, marked "Executives Only" until, at last, one of them revealed a staircase.
"Jackpot." Elise whispered to herself as she descended.

Just as Elise left, Dan and Chris entered the back area.

"Jackpot." Dan said, staring at all the tanks. "This is where they keep the good stuff, we ruin the batch, their sales will plummet, they go out of business, no more pesticide outside my house."
"I'm not sure if this is safe. The tank says "DO NOT MIX WITH WATER, MAY CAUSE RUNAWAY REACTION", and It's in yellow." Chris said, pointing to the large yellow warning sign. Dan scoffed, "Oh please that's just for the workers, all legal mumbo jumbo. Now, please hand me my pipe wrench."
"I didn't bring a pipe wrench."
Dan leaned forward. "What do you MEAN you didn't bring a pipe wrench? WHO DOESN'T BRING A PIPE WRENCH TO A CHEMICAL PLANT?" Shoving his hand down his face, he sighed. "Fine, guard the tanks, I'll get one myself.

------------------------------

Stepping into the room, Thomas knew it was serious.
The entire upper staff of the Azinder Chemical Combine, had gathered into the meeting office. While meetings between the group weren't uncommon, Melody had indicated he wanted them ALL there at once.

The look of fear on her eyes told him all he needed to know.

Next to her, he saw the rest of the crew. Skyler, head of the delivery team. Trent, head of security. And of course, himself, Azinders personal assistant and advisor. He had known Azinder longer then anyone else, having met him a decade prior, when they both still worked with the Russian mob. He had been smuggling all his life, and had first met Azinder in 2008, back when they were both mafia enforcers.

Despite this, he knew essentially nothing about the mans past, no one did. Azinder was known for being tight lipped.

It was that thought that caused him to realize something.

"Where's the boss?"

Melody turned to him, still somewhat uneasy. "Don't know, he said to be here in 20 minutes."

Tom rubbed his face, before asking "What's happening?"

Melody sighed. "Daza got drunk and wrecked his truck."

"Aw shit." Tom groaned, rubbing his hands on his face. "The feds are gonna be swarming us in a hot minute if we don't-"

"Gentlemen."
The entire group turned to the noise. Whilst they were bickering amongst themselves, Azinder had entered the room.
Slowly walking forward, his steps echoed through the suddenly quiet room. The normally professional looking Azinder had ditched his suit and tie. Combat boots thumped as they hit the ground. On his chest, a vest, decorated with ammo. His normally clean hair now strewn over his face.
And, in his right hand, held a submachine gun, clutched tight and close to his side.

Azinder looked as though he was prepared for war.

Turning to the group with a stern look on his face, Azinder spoke. "I'm sure you're all aware of the situation we're in."

They nodded, too stricken with fear to speak.

"Hmmph." he mumbled to himself, pacing in circles very slowly. "It's more grave then you know. Tell me, if a truck, full of chemical weapons, crashed on the side of the road, wouldn't the news be all over it?"

The group held silent, before Skyler finally spoke up. "Little buggers would have a feeding frenzy." he said, with a thick Australian accent.

"And yet, not a word from anyone." Azinder spoke, before being interrupted by Tom.

"So they haven't found out yet." Tom said with glee, turning to look at Skyler. "We can go and clean it up, the feds will never-"

"No." Azinder shouted, a slight twitch radiating through his body as he continued to pace. "This isn't the feds. This isn't the FBI. This isn't the ATF. We are dealing with something far worse."

Thomas and Skyler looked at each other in confusion, before Sky turned back to Azinder. "What the hell are you talking about mate?"

Azinder grunted, taking a sip of a nearby glass of absinthe. "The news won't hear a thing until we're all 6 feet under and they've painted the story they want to get out." He spoke with fear in his words, turning to the window, staring out onto the city below.

"No...We are dealing with a force who cares not about it's people, not who it has to kill to accomplish it's goals. A cruel, cruel organization that knows no fear, and deludes all who work for it into thinking they are doing work for the good of the people. They are not."
Azinder spoke, a sense of true fear understanding evident in his voice, as all others in the room looked at each other, the situation sinking in.
"They are, but puppets, sent to obey their masters commands and kill all who threaten their monstrous operation. They do not choose to act. They simply obey the crooked whim of the puppet masters. The ones who really run things, despite all our efforts to the contrary."

The upper council sat there, motionless, until Thomas finally worked up the confidence to speak.
"Azinder.....with all due respect, you're making no sense. WHAT GROUP?"

He laughed. Azinder laughed a long, creepy laugh, as Thomas slowly backed up, fearing for his life.

"Oh, I'm making sense. I'm making the most sense I've made in a long time." He said, his voice turning from jovious to cold in an instant.
"I'm, afraid I haven't been perfectly honest with you gentlemen. Why, my real-"

RING RING RING RING

"I'll get it." Azinder groaned, angry at the man on the other line for ruining the moment. "This better be good."

"Ahoy Hoy?"

Answering the line, Azinder quickly snapped to attention. Gunfire was evident on the other line in the background. A mans's breathing could be heard.
"THERE'S A FUCKING MAD WOMAN WITH A GUN DOWN HERE, SHE'S..SHE'S TEARING US APART, WE NEED HELP DOWN HE-URRGH...."
The sound of him choking resonated, followed by a soft thump, as the man hit the floor, dead.

Azinder dropped the phone, his entire body shaking violently, from his hands to his feet. "They're here." he softly said, terror in his voice.

For a moment, the room was quiet, except for the faint shaking of Azinder's feet.

Then all hell broke loose.

"Melody, go purge the computer system, delete everything, we need it down, NOW!" He screamed at Melody, as he dug behind his desk.
"Skyler, Trent, you two, go to Lab-A.A.D., kill EVERYONE there, torch the place to the ground! Here!" he shouted, tossing a jerry can he had grabbed from behind his desk to them. "We CANNOT allow those fuckers to find out a GODDAMN THING!"

Trent cocked his rifle and started walking, as Skyler, clenching the jerry can in his hand, stuttered. "But...Sir...the scientists there, they-"

"I SAID NOW!"

Skyler gulped, before quickly running off to preform the deed. Azinder then turned to Thomas, his advisor.
"We gotta get to the tunnels, come on, we don't have much time left!"
"But I-"
"Come on COME ON DO YOU WANNA DIE?!? Hurry!"
Thomas did not, in fact, want to die. And thus followed Azinder out of the room.

------------------------------
5 MINUTES EARLIER

Moving down the stairwell, Elise turned a corner, only to(quite literally) bump into a guard.
In shock at her appearance, he quickly pulled out his pistol. "HEY, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ME HERE!:
Before he could fire, Elise ducked down, delivering a side kick that sent the guard rolling down the stairs. "OW, OH, OOCH, OW, MY LEG, AH!"
As he rolled to the bottom of the stairs, knocked out, Elise smiled.
"Still got it." she said to herself, as she quietly open the door to peak into the underground room.

Elise gasped at what she saw. The pipes lead into a large pressing machine, out of which came several artillery shells. A small group of workers, dressed in black garb and armed with rifles, stuck tips on the shells, as they moved towards a large truck. There appeared to be a tunnel for the truck to use.
This was a covert chemical weapons plant. Eagles Nest was right.

Deploying a listening device and setting it to record, Elise quickly picked up their radio frequency, listening in to the conversation.

"We got an order, 1000 phosgene shells heading to Syria."
"Some rich guy on the line wants sarin."
"How is our Russian friend doing, Skyler?"

Having heard enough, Elise pulled out her watch to contact eagles nest.
"Eagles Nest, this is Dancing Shadow. I've got a confirmed CW plant here, sending the info your way."
"Copy Dancing Shadow, we're sending in a Special Ops team to deal with it. Get to the penthouse and capture Azinder"
"Rodger that, Dancing Shadow out."

Unfortunately, one of the workers nearby had a keen ear, and saw the door ajar. Pulling it open, he exposed Elises location.
"HEY, SOMEONES IN HERE!"
Suddenly, every other Black Garb worker turned, and pulled out their rifles.
"WE GOT AN INTRUDER, SECTOR 1-ALPHA!"
"DON'T LET HER ESCAPE"

Suddenly, a dozen sniper dots were on Elise's face.

"Crap." She said to herself, knowing this wasn't going to be clean, or quiet.

--------------------------------------------

Dan moved from pipe to pipe, messing with various valves. Having finally found a monkey wrench, he began his master plan.

Chris, looking at all the pipes, had a look of concern on his face. "You DO know what you're doing, right Dan?"

Dan scoffed, as his hooked up a fire house to one of the valves. "Of COURSE I do. We're ruining all their precious, precious chemicals, so they stop spraying them, and stop ruining my car. Everyone wins." Dan said, before lighting a waste paper basket on fire.

Chris, jittering his fingers, stuttered out "I, I know that part Dan, I mean, are you sure you're not going to blow us up, or turn us into mutants or something."

Dan sighed nonchalantly. "Eh, probably not, I took a chemistry class in high school, ya know?"

Chris gave a brief sigh of relief, before Dan continued "Heh, I still remember burning it down."

"YOU WHAT?"

"Don't worry, I didn't pay attention to anything that didn't involve explosions."

"Then how do you know what you're doing right now."

Dan, getting angry, retorted "I fail to see how that has anything to do with the current situation. All I'm trying to do is preform a little sabotage, and here you are, critiqueing my education. You should really be less judgemental to others."

"I WASN'T....ugh...okay Dan." Chris said, giving up on the argument.

The two stood there for several seconds, waiting for something to happen.

"So....Chris, what are you having for dinner tonight?"
Chris turned to Dan. "Well, I wanted meatloaf, but Elise says I need variety."
"That's why I told you to dump her, but you didn't lis-"

RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE.

The chemical tank next to them began to shake violently. Dan and Chris began to slowly walk back.

"Uh oh....I MAY have screwed up my math....wait, I didn't do any math. Nevermind Chris, my track record is spotless."

"We should run." Chris said in fear as he backed away.

"That might be a good idea." Dan responded, already having turn and ran. Chris quickly followed behind him.

--------------------------------

BANG

The last guard fell dead.

Taking a moment to breathe and reload, Elise looked around.

Dozens of corpses lie around. Various armed dealers and truckers dead. The once bustling production bay lay quiet, only the sounds of the conveyor built rumbled on. This did not phase Elise. Her years of training had prepared her for far worse.

Suddenly, a series of alarms rocked the area, disturbing the brief peace, as Elise pulled out her watch.

"Eagles Nest, I've been compromised. Alarms are up. Request reinforcements."

"Granted Dancing Shadow. Alter to Objective B, get to the rear vehicle yard. It's Azinders only escape route, and we want him alive. Special Ops helicopter crew ETA 10 minutes."

"Rodger that, Dancing Shadow out."

Looking to the nearby staircase, Elise quickly climbed up, entering back into the building. Stepping into one of the winding corridors of the main building, it was clear panic had set in. The sound of people running in fear echoed through the whole structure.

Her rifle at the ready, Elise marched forward, taking note of the door marking as she went, attempting to find the quickest way to the vehicle center.

RATTA TAT TAT.

A guard, running out from a door in front of Elise, was quickly blown away before he could even process her presence.
Elise did not pause, continuing forward, up the stairs to the main level.


The smell of smoke quickly became apparent, as Elise grimaced her face in response. The arid particles stinging her eyes. Looking for the source, Elise quickly spotted a large wave of fire, emitting from the end of a hallway. A lone guard stood in front, staring directly into the flames, having not yet noticed Elise.

RATTA TAT TAT.

She didn't give him the chance.

Turning back around, dispatching another straggler, she made a final left turn, bursting through the door and into the outdoor area.

There, she saw it. A Humvee, just starting to drive off.

"Bingo."

---------------------------
"Thomas, start the engine, MOVE MOVE MOVE!" Azinder screamed at Thomas, turning back to look at the building behind him. Someone was running towards him. Pulling out his gun, he looked closer. It was Skyler, fear in his eyes and gas on his clothes.

"DON'T LEAVE ME!"

Azinder hesitated for a moment, almost signaling Thomas to halt, until something else caught his eye.
It was a woman, mid height, M16 in her hands. A silverish black uniform was clearly visible. Not one of his.

"SHIT IT'S HER! DRIVE YOU SON OF A BITCH DRIVE!" Azinder barked out, Thomas abiding and flooring it.

Skyler's heart sunk. "NO, WAIT FOR M-"
RATTA TAT TAT.
Skyler fell over, dead to the mad woman's bullets.

Rocketing forward, the Humvee moved wildly, Azinder leaning out the window and firing a clip out of his gun.
RATTA TAT TAT
"DIE YOU TYRANT!"
RATTA TAT TAT

The swerving mad aiming hard, and the woman took cover behind a Humvee. Azinder sighed, sitting back down in his seat, before grabbing the 2-way radio on the dashboard. "Melody, this is Azinder. We are POSITIVELY in bad shape. Need you to open the door to Tunnel B."

The radio crackled with static, before bursting to life. "We've got trouble. There's helicopters out the front. I don't have much time to-"
Azinder groaned, then growled. "JUST OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!"

"Yes Azinder Sir."

Bracing himself as they swerved around the corner, his eyes widened with joy. With a low grinding sound, the door to Tunnel 2 creeped open.
Victory was at hand.

"That way Thomas!" he shouted, Thomas steadying the vehicle and speeding towards the exit when-

BOOM

A terrific noise shook the compound, followed by a massive CLANK into the front of the Humvee, which promptly sputtered, then died.
Recovering from the shock, they spotted the source of the problem.

About 70 feet ahead of them, to the left of the tunnel, a large tank of chemicals had exploded. Bit's of shrapnel lined the ground, one of which had struck the Humvee.
The entrance to the tunnel itself was gone, collapsed by the force of the blast. A huge cloud of green gas spread outwards from the tank.

Azinder gasped. This had not been part of the plan. What the hell had those fuckers done?

"Humvee's dead, what do we do sir?" Thomas asked, snapping Azinder out of his brief shell shock.

"Gas Mask on, NOW!" He screamed, having snapped back into focus. "In the glove box, hurry, that's chlorine."

Thomas obeyed, slipping on his mask, as Azinder stepped out the vehicle, eyeing a nearby staircase. "The fire escape....we can reach the building on foot. Come on, we have to-"

As Azinder motioned for Thomas to follow, he heard the screech of Humvee brakes. Turning in horror, he saw it. A Humvee had just skidded to a stop, and inside it?
It was her.
The Mad Woman. The Agent. The Tool.

"RUN THOMAS, WE'VE GOT TO MOVE!" Azinder screeched, panic filling his voice, as he sprinted towards the catwalk with all his might.
He HAD to get away. He....they couldn't......
It wasn't going to end like this.

PLONK

A tranq dart flew into him, striking the kevlar on his false neck. Unfaltered, Azinder pushed forward, spotting an overturned crate, just below the fire escape.
"THERE, BEHIND COVER!"

Getting around the corner, Azinder pulled out his gun, attempting to take the woman down, to no avail. With his options fading, he followed Thomas up the ladder, the sound of gunfire ringing in his ears, as the screams of his guards echoed through the compound.

Finally pulling himself up the top, Azinder could see over the wall.
What he saw made his stomach drop.

Instead of clear fields and a open street leading to his safehouse, there were helicopters.
Dozens of them.
And out of each, soldiers rappelled down, row by row, forming a line that was quickly encircling the plant.

Azinder blinked. "Fuck" and for a moment, simply stared.

"Thomas, call Melody, NOW! See if she can send what's left of the guard, we need to thin out these choppers." He spoke, the words stinging his mouth as they left. "I'll keep our little agent friend from getting up here."

"Yes Sir."

But even as Tom pulled out his walkie talkie, the hope was fading fast from Azinders heart.
Even if they managed to get to the safehouse and the escape helicopter, their stealth had been compromised. They'd know the helicopter was theirs, and shoot it down.
It was hopeless.
But Azinder Kursk did not know the meaning of such a word.
Aiming up, he fired another drum at the woman. Unfortunately for him, she ducked just in time, apparently surprised he was still fighting.

"Melody, this is Thomas. We're pinned down on the west side fire escape. Have you got the computer system clear?"

After a brief moment of silence, she responded. "Yes, I've just knocked it out. Feds won't have a damn thing to grab."

Azinder smiled. "Thank god."

Thomas, suppressing a grin, quickly got back to his thought process. "We've got choppers all around. Can you send the guard to the west side, we need to clear a path to the Safehouse.

".......Uh, negative."

Thomas's heart sunk with those words. The look on Azinders face said it all.

"We've barely got anyone left as is. We've got feds in the vehicle bay and.....SHIT!" Melody stuttered out, the sounds of breaking glass and footsteps audible in the background.
"HANDS IN THE AIR, HANDS IN THE FUCKING AIR!"
"I've been compromised. I-"
BZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT

The radio went dead.

Thomas turned to his boss, dread on his face. "Azinder! We're on our own sir."

Redirecting his attention away from The Agent, Azinder turned to Thomas. He was fresh out of plans.

"We'll......we'll have to make a run for it. Go straight for the woods and-"

BANG

Blood sprayed everywhere, as Thomas froze, a large hole in the side of his head. After a moment, he fell, a small puddle gathering around his temple.

"SHIT!" Azinder screamed, quickly jumping off the fire escape to avoid the snipers fire, hitting the ground with a THUMP, tumbling before quickly regaining his footing.

It was now or never.

Sprinting with every ounce of energy his body could muster, Azinder charged forward, towards the helicopter line.

PLONK.

"AGH!"
Another tranq dart struck Azinder, slightly below his false neck on the top of his back.
He knew he was done.

Looking behind him he caught a glimpse of who had done the deed.
Once again, it was her, the agent, standing atop the fire escape, tranq gun in hand.
Just his luck.

Then everything went black.


--------------------------------

She had done it.

The tranquilizer had finally done it's job, and the man fell. Elise smiled. The people were safe from Azinder.

Walking up to the downed felon, Elise saw a tall, white man in a silverish black uniform, examining Azinder. A fellow agent.
Pulling back Azinder's hair, he looked closer at his neck. "Kevlar Neck Piece. You're a clever bastard, ain't ya?" Looking down, the second
tranquilizer dart stood out, partially dislodged when he fell. "But not clever enough for us. Nobody gets past us."

Turning to Elise, he held out his hand, the two shaking as equals.

"Dancing Shadow, Agent Silver Bullet. It's an pleasure to see you." He spoke, shaking it valiantly. "I haven't seen you since Libya."

"I've been busy. Glad to see a couple bullet holes couldn't stop the 'Roach of Benghazi'"

Silver Bullet chuckled. "No they did not! Nobody squashes the roach!" before tossing her a gun. "This was his gun. Looks old."

A quick examination from Elise confirmed it. Soviet made PPSh-41 Submachine Gun. Where did a terrorist like Azinder get a gun like that?

After a moment of silence, the man turned back to Azinder, picking up a briefcase. "We found this in his trench coat" he exclaimed, tossing
the case to Elise, before walking off. "Tell Eagles Nest to give us more missions together"

Quickly turning it over to inspect, a distinctive mark on the lock told her all she need to know.

A Zembik Mk-V, top of the live. One mistake could cause the briefcase to spray acid, and she didn't have the tools to disarm it on hand.
With a sigh, Elise held onto it. Her curiosity would have to wait til she got home and could crack that puppy open.

The sound of a helicopter landing caught her attention. Looking forward, she stared at the chinook as it landed, several men stepping out.
Two wore the usual Special Ops uniform, the last one wore a greyish brown uniform. The man, tall and black, walked up to her,giving a quick salute. Everyone in the ops knew who she was.
"Ah, Agent Shadow, I see you took down this SOB. Nice work." He spoke with honor in his voice, holding out a hand. "People like you keep America free. God bless your soul." he shook her hand, a smile beaming off his face.

"Have you secured the target?"

"Azinder Kursk is down, prepare him for extraction." She said, helping him hoist the unconscious criminal up. Turning around, the S.Op leader looked at the other two men, slightly behind him. "Ramirez, Vasquez, load the prisoner into the helicopter."

They responded, lifting up Azinder and carrying him towards the helicopter.

Turning back to Dancing Shadow, he smiled. "Lucky you, VIP ride back to base. You ride in the back compartment, I'll be flying."

Elise did not disagree, following the man forward. The two Privates, meanwhile, lifted Azinder into the main section of the helicopter.

Stepping into the back, Elise was pleased by what she saw.
A chair, a small TV screen, a bit of leg room.
Being the organizations top agent certainly had it's benefits.

Settling into her seat, she relaxed, the sound of the helicopter taking off resonating through the vehicle.
Her job may not have been the easiest, but she sleep well at night, knowing her actions would help the country at large.
No terrorist was safe from her, no foreign government agent left alone. No one can fight a Shadow.

That made her pretty darn special, she thought to herself, watching the trees below pass by as the helicopter flew onward.

-----------------------------

Dan and Chris had finally cleared the gate, passing the gate guard(still too engrossed in his newspaper to hear the alarms) and hopping into
Chris's car, and driving away.

The sounds from the plant had only increased, fires spreading rapidly, the smell of smoke lingered.

Chris, hunched over and trying to drive, spoke to Dan. "Well, now, we're domestic TERRORISTS. Happy Dan?"
He scoffed. "Oh please, one leaky tank does not a terrorist make. We're saboteurs at worst."

Just as he said that, a series of large explosions rocked the combine. Turning back to look, the duo watched as the chimney collapsed, the main building burst into flames in a series of chain explosions, and several huge plumes of green and purple gas rose from the area.
The sound of helicopters was audible, as dozens seemed to circle the area.

"Hmm, that might be worthy of the conviction." Dan stated monotonely, as they slowly drove away.

----------------------------

Walking home after a long day of revenge, Dan sighed to himself. "Finally, some peace and quiet now that that STUPID factory is gone."
MEROEOW.
Looking down at the source of the noise, Dan was surprised to see Mr. Mumbles, walking down the sidewalk.
ME-OW. MEOW.
"Mr. Mumbles? How did you get out here?" Dan said in a rare soft tone. Leaning down to pick up his cat, he began stroking her fur as he walked. "Awww. Wait til I tell you about today's revenge. I stole a uniform, blew up a chemical plant, OH, and Chris is really improving on his mugging skills, I think he-" Dan suddenly stopped as he turned the corner. Casa Paradiso was in flames. A large group of firemen
were nearby, having been almost extinguished.
"What the....WHAT HAPPENED?" Dan shouted, running towards the firemen. "Textbook case of a cooking fire. Some moron must have left his stove on. But don't worry citizen, the rest of the building was saved."

"What, that's MY apartment. ARE YOU CALLING ME A MORON? NO ONE CALLS ME A MORON!"
The two fireman glanced at each other, then back at the burnt out apartment, before walking away.
Dan stood there, staring at what was left of his home. Walking up, he saw the burnt remains of his cooking book.
"Recipe book, you have forsaken me." he shouted, throwing the burnt remains at the debris, causing a scorched pan to hit his head.
"GRRRRRRRR...................COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNG!"